The Rise and Fall of Dr. Massive

Hello folks!!!! D to the rOcK hasn't posted to ya'll in quite some time. So I return with a load of bs to entertain you with....(I submit that everyone is closing this browser window right now because I've already told you that it's gonna be bull-esque shit.) In my traditional fashion I will say FUCK IT...I'm gonna Have another FuCkin' SIP...and continue...

Dr. Massive was a very square man who lost sight of the monster he wanted to create. Unfortunately this hero of ours got bogged down in wires and buttons and technicalities that he lost focus of the beast that he so eagerly wanted to bring to life. Many days and nights went by as he slumped in the corner of his laboratory, pleasuring himself and eating Wild Bill beef jerky chew. The days grew dark and dreary, and he began to sincerely belive that his dream could never come to fruition. Then, like a rainbow in the dark (thank you Ronnie James Dio) a creature came to him out of the darkness. We soon learn that this entity is an angel from above...bringing with it a pot full of pasta fagilio. The angel speaks to Dr. Massive..."You must stop gratifying yourself in the sense of masturbatory folley and try my divine pasta fagilio." In complete awe and exhaustion, mainly because of the nonstop extraction of his own loin secretion that day, our good Doctor gave in to this italiano angels request. He reached for the divine bowl of pasta-based food. The spoon gave off a sparkle as he lifted it from thine bowl, and a quick breeze of wind touched the room as he raised the spoon to his lips....

What came upon the good Doctor was inexplainable. A rise of absolute clarity and vision fucked his soul...and it fucked said soul HARD! The pasta-bearing angel said no words, for it knew that its deed was done. A bellowing wind and a thick fog penetrated the air, and in a few brief moments the angel was gone. All that was left...the good Doctor, and that blessed spoon.

EUREKA!!!!!!! shrieked our hero! The spoon fell to the floor. His pants were pulled up to his waist. The 3/4's empty bottle of moisturizer was crushed beneath his new found footing. The good doctor rediscovered his path. The clouds were lifted from his gaze, and a new dawn was before him...he murmered the subtle yet potent phrase..."I am that which I will bring life to."

...And so, the true beast was born. Until next time ladies and gentlemen......