It has been awhile since I ventured into the blogosphere, but I've returned and well equipped to deal with fat acne scared folk who haunt this realm looking for innocent and helpless people to "pwn." Don't fret, I have not returned solely to fight the tyrannical uber nerds, but to also deliver you a good heaping pile of funnies from the fourth grade.
This past week my class took a test on the solar system. This was a basic test asking for information on all eight planets, and Pluto who is now treated like an unwelcome step child at dinner after making a comment about the "zoo noises" mommy was making last night. The students were given a study guide that was filled in over the course of the week with a final review by the classroom teacher where they were all given the correct answers. All the students had ample time to study, but a few students went the extra mile and did some historic and scientific re-visioning for us. Here is a list of the new facts I learned today:
1. All the inner planets are not in fact made of rock, but made of Ice and dust. (I knew global warming was a conspiracy made up by the liberals.)
2. The outer planets are giant snowballs, not gas. (God does love giant snow cones...)
3. Saturn's rings are not made of ice, rocks and dust. What are they made up of then? The truth, fire.
4. The first person to walk on the moon was actually Arnold Schwarzenegger, not that phony Neil Armstrong.
According to the logic used to to arrive at the last fact I can only assume it will soon be revealed that it was Will Smith who first flew across the Atlantic. And when he landed in Paris he promptly punched the mayor in the face, stood over him and said, "Welcome to Earth."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
1 comment:
I am kind of liking the fact that Saturn's rings are actually fire; it totally makes that planet a badass.
Post a Comment